It is never dull in the land of ASD. Owen is growing, and along with this comes maturing in the ways of the social world. It is a confusing labyrinth to him at times. Lately we have been dealing with disappointments.
It is a beautiful day and we ride bikes to the school park. Owen wants to do more biking so I give him more freedom to explore on his own than he has ever had before. He is thrilled to tell me that there is a lemonade stand down the street and can he go get some. Well, sure, except he has to bike home to get some money first. He does this but by the time he gets there, the lemonade stand has closed up and disappeared. Heartbreak city. Here he is being totally responsible, biking safely, asking permission, getting his own allowance for the treat and it is yanked away from him. Putting aside my desire to go yell at the kids who had the nerve to close down the lemonade stand even though the sign was clearly still up, I try to console my crying 10 year old. It is not possible. We had a plan and it wasn't working through no fault of his own. That's not what he expected. *sigh* We make our way home and make our own lemonade. It works, for now.
It is tempting to want to shelter the kids from difficult times. Get rid of those road bumps that make the ride rough. He wanted to drive around down until we found an open lemonade stand but we didn't. We worked through it eventually. My friend reminded me recently that there is such a gift that you give your kids when you allow them to struggle and work through the difficult times on their own. They learn and they gain confidence in themselves.
I'm not sure what it will take for him to find his path through disappointment. It can be hard for those of us who bend easily but so much harder for those who see the world in black and white. But, like riding a bike, it comes with time, practice, band aids and a little distraction. And it is worth it.